"I Am The Love Of My Life".

​Starting therapy has been the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. I had a textbook case of daddy issues, which resulted in me always selecting the wrong type of men, which resulted in relationship issues, which resulted in body issues, then self-esteem issues. By the time I started therapy, I was at a point in my life where I truly felt like I wasn’t worthy of love from a man. Like I was destined to die alone. It didn’t help that I am almost 30 years old, and by society's standards I should be married with kids by now. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep wondering why men don’t want me and why do they continue to hurt me or treat me like I mean nothing.
 
Throughout my therapy journey I’ve blocked people, took myself out on dates, got comfortable in my own skin, started a fitness journey, got Lasik, set boundaries, started exploring new hobbies, got vulnerable, had difficult conversations, got assertive, became comfortable with the unknown about my future, starting loving myself as is, got celibate and most importantly….cried like a baby at almost every session. Seriously, I saw my therapist for a little over a year and I can count on one hand how many sessions I did not cry.
 
The most important thing I learned in therapy is, I am the love of my life. PERIOD. I cannot wait around for a man to finally see something good in me and treat me right nor can I let the opinions of men determine how I view or love myself. I must get comfortable treating myself the way I want to be treated. Whether that’s pampering myself or taking myself out on dates, I can’t spend my time waiting for a man to do it. And when and if I do meet a wonderful man, the happiness he gives to me will be a bonus. As my therapist once told me “I’m good with or without you.”
 
My biggest suggestion for anyone thinking about starting therapy for the first time: get a good therapist! I know that sounds easier said than done. But the therapist you choose sets the tone for your healing journey. I lucked out and found an amazing therapist the first time around, but if you feel that you and your therapist aren’t clicking, find a new one. Your therapist should be able to provide a judgment-free safe space for you. I can't tell you how important that is. Without that safe space, you won’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with them. And if you can’t get vulnerable with them, then you’re just wasting your time and most importantly money. And nobody wants that!