6/23/23

Hi! Curtis here!…you know…the guy that you’re thinking about seeing for therapy. Today I figured I would do my own blog post as this is a significant day in my life. Today makes 5 years to the day that I lost my little brother. I’m literally typing up this post right now with tears in my eyes as The Foo Fighters’ new album “But Here We Are” blasts from my phone (an album from a band that is all about the loss of their friend and drummer…check it out!). So why am I telling you all of this? Well, that’s the point of the blog right?…sharing how our pain led us to therapy and how that helped us…Well, something in my spirit told me to get up and share my story in the hopes that it will help someone else.

My brother passed away 5 years ago today in a motorcycle accident. It was the first REAL loss I had ever experienced as far as someone that I interacted with everyday for the majority of my early life. I did the typical thing that people do in this situation…I went into ‘fix it’ mode. I focused on helping my parents. I didn’t even allow myself to cry early on until things were settled enough to where I felt “safe” enough to do so.

Eventually, I found my way to therapy. The ironic part is, it wasn’t even my therapist that ultimately helped me heal myself from this loss. It was a colleague that used Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) on me during my first training for the technique. It really helped me to see the loss differently. I went from focusing on details of the accident to seeing the images and memories that I (and I believe he) would rather focus on with regards to my relationship with him. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt from time to time…He was my brother and I’m always going to love and miss him…but the feelings that were so overwhelming aren’t there anymore. I think that’s what he would want.