I'm Choosing Me NoW

​Growing up, mental health wasn’t a topic of discussion. In fact, it was rather taboo to talk about. We were raised to just deal and tough it out, and that broke me bit by bit throughout the years. After trying to “tough it out” in an abusive relationship for the sake of family, dealing with the abuse post relationship, pressure from those around me to go back to the abusive relationship for the kids, and a death in the family…my “why” was no longer enough. 

I wanted to be better for my kids and for myself, but I knew the only way I could do that was to seek help. I needed to rewire the way my brain was processing and handling the trauma and stress. But more importantly, I desperately needed to feel understood. I needed to feel like I wasn’t alone and wasn’t “crazy” for struggling with the things I lived through. Despite the taboo of seeking help and being yet again advised to just “deal with”, I knew I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. It was the only chance to stand a chance in making it through just even one day…one week…one month…

One decision and one step to seek help and start counseling for just a hope of just getting through one day at a time. That one day is now two years and I’ve been thriving at my own pace and a much stronger, healthier, and happier me. Notice I didn’t say I’m a completely different person, though I’ve made such tremendous progress that it does feel like I am sometimes. I’ve learned that the past is always going to be a part of us, but it doesn’t have to define who we are.

 Counseling has helped me understand my trauma and taught me how to cope and move forward with patience and self-love. With a better understanding of trauma, coping skills I’ve learned, ART therapy, and continued counseling, I no longer rely regularly and religiously on anxiety and antidepressants. It truly has been a life changing journey that I am so proud of myself for in taking that first step towards a happier me. I’m breaking down the taboo of mental health for my kids and others around me, and I’m damn proud of being able to do so.