My Traumatic Journey

First off, this is not scripted. I am not someone here to just post positives. My story and my troubles are my own and 100% truth. The path I chose to take, was the best decision I ever made. My most recent experience was the 4th different time, I have sought counseling, in the last 30 years of my life. I am currently 52 years old.
This most recent time however, was different. I came into it at the lowest point in my life. It seemed like I had a permanent black cloud above my head, and I was convinced that I do not deserve happiness or even contentment. I have had 2 immediate family members, pass on from suicide, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg with me. I was battling other demons as well. But I can honestly and 100% truthfully say, that the processes I went through in my most recent (and still current) therapy, has changed my life immensely. I no longer feel like I have this cloud.  I no longer have this despair that was taking over me. My therapist, within my first appointment, told me that my issues stemmed from “Trauma”. Post Traumatic Stress. I thought you could only get that in the military, or other fields where seeing trauma on a daily basis, created PTSD. So yes, I was skeptical. I have always been a skeptical person.

Then I was introduced to something by my therapist, that really made me skeptical. He explained it to me (several times), and I just kept thinking in my mind, that this was some type of hypnosis. He introduced me to A.R.T. (Accelerated Resolution Therapy). Now if you Google that, it will give you a bunch of medical terms and parts of the brain that do this and do that. So I of course, was like “Yeah….Right”. But in a nutshell, my therapist told me that this was a very effective treatment, that has had incredible success. Now, I am possibly the most stubborn person on this planet. I am also a creature of habit, and I don’t like trying new things. But the low that I was at, I simply said “whatever”. I’ll try anything at this point, as I was so bad. I never knew how low “Rock Bottom” really was.

After my first session of ART, I felt a bit of a hum in my head. It’s no medicines, no machines, no probes, nothing. He said he was going to use hand to eye movements and ask me questions. That’s when I was like, this is hypnosis. But it wasn’t. As skeptical as I was, the feeling I left that office with, that day, was staggering. I was living with several horrible traumas that have happened throughout my life. From childhood, all the way to adulthood. And I was stuck in what I call a “loop”. I was constantly replaying these traumas over and over in my head, one after another. And it was driving me into a depression I never knew I could feel. But there is absolute truth to this A.R.T process. We focused on just one of my traumas in session 1. After completing it, I left the office thinking to myself “OK, how long will this last”?  it’s been over 3 months since that first treatment, and I am still amazed at how these traumas, got pushed back into a part of my brain (my life), not to a point of forgetting them, but a point of where the “loop” was gone. I figured by the next day that loop would be back. It wasn’t. At that point, I was gaining more confidence. The process of A.R.T. almost seemed like a fantasy. And it’s not a treatment that is going to break your bank. These sessions were part of my weekly therapy sessions. They just went for about another 45 minutes longer than normal sessions.

Today, after 3 separate sessions of A.R.T., the 3 specifically focused traumas (as well as others), are still there, but they are stored in a place where I don’t think of them the way I used to. It doesn’t take them away. But where they are stored in my brain now, allows me to process what happened, without dwelling on the “traumatic” part of what happened. Instead, positive thoughts were implanted over those traumas. We even were able to do a session for my low self-esteem/self-confidence. I just can’t explain in words, what all this has done for me.

I now am in a good place. Not thinking I am in a good place. Knowing, I am in a good place. The troubles that led me to therapy are still there, but they reside in my rear-view mirror now. I honestly can say that I currently feel better now, then I have, in maybe my entire life. My issues began about 3 years old. My childhood was very rough. There was no love in my family’s home. It was all fighting, arguing and violence. Somehow from all of this I have gained “empathy” for the first time in my life. I never knew how that felt before. I would always just get angry and irritated. It unfortunately cost me my marriage of over 20 years, and almost destroyed my relationship with my daughter. I can honestly say now that the specific therapy I went through, was life changing. I am soooo grateful to my therapist and what he has done for me. I have a completely different outlook on life. With the biggest part being, that I want to live my life now. Something that I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted, just several months back.

​Just be accepting to it. It’s not going to work the same for everybody. It’s how YOU accept it into your life. Therapy is not brainwashing, or hypnosis. It’s about processing your thoughts, your emotions, and your feelings. It’s about dealing with trauma and the destructive effects it can have on a person. And it’s in a way that will help you lead a much more productive and happy life. I cannot stress enough how much better I am now, then a while back. If you are even thinking about getting therapy or help, it means you want to. Don’t wait. Do it! It’ll be the best decision of your life. Therapy and counseling can be had in so many mediums. You don’t have to have great health insurance or lots of money to get it. These people are for real. They have honed skills that are beyond daily comprehension. I know I am truly grateful for all that I have gotten.